RNP Chapter 30 Have you ever hated yourself?
Chapter 30 Have you ever hated yourself?
Chapter 30 Have you ever hated yourself?
"Hmm—let me think about it."
Nan Feng sat up and pretended to count on his fingers, "From when you were a child, when Qian Xunji took you in as a disciple and raised you like a child bride, to when you grew up and met that good-for-nothing named Yu Xiaogang."
Upon hearing that name, Bibi Dong's body stiffened abruptly, and a flash of pain and hatred crossed her eyes.
"Oh, by the way, you two have been flirting under the noses of Wuhun City for five or six years, and you even went to Seagod Island together, experiencing what's called a near-death experience, which deepened your feelings for each other—"
"That's enough!"
Bibi Dong interrupted sharply, her voice icy and chilling, "Nan Feng, some things are better left unsaid, even if you see them clearly. Otherwise—"
""
"Or what? Kill me?"
Nan Feng wasn't afraid at all; instead, he became even more enthusiastic. "I just don't understand, Bibi Dong. Was your brain filled with mush back then?"
"Qian Xunji is the Pope, the local tyrant of Wuhun City. You and Yu Xiaogang are dating right under his nose, and you actually think he doesn't know? Or—you think he's tacitly approved?"
Bibi Dong didn't speak, but gripped the bed sheet beneath her tightly, her knuckles turning white.
Nan Feng continued, "Actually, you've already vaguely guessed it yourself. Qian Xunji is the controller of Wuhun City, and you are his personal disciple. Yu Xiaogang is also the son of the Blue Lightning Tyrant Dragon Clan's sect master."
"Qian Xunji must have known about your contact. Moreover, with so many spies around the Holy Maiden, it would be self-deception to say that he didn't know."
"But do you think that since Qian Xunji knew about it and never said anything, he must have already tacitly agreed to it?"
"So, after the crushing defeat on Seagod Island, you broke through to the Soul Saint realm and obtained your seventh Soul Ring. You wanted to use this good news to tell Qian Xunji and get him to agree to this."
"However, you didn't expect that Qian Xunji not only refused, but also scolded you harshly and criticized Yu Xiaogang in every way."
You were stunned.
"After all, Qian Xunji has never scolded you. From childhood to adulthood, you have always been the Pope's most outstanding disciple and the pride of the Spirit Hall, surpassing the so-called Haotian Twin Stars."
"Not to mention that you and Yu Xiaogang were deeply in love at the time, and you went through the life-or-death battle on Poseidon Island, which further deepened your feelings."
"You got carried away when Qian Xunji berated Yu Xiaogang so harshly, especially mocking him as a piece of trash who could never break through level 30 in his lifetime."
"In a fit of anger, he threatened her by saying that he would rather leave the Spirit Hall than not be with Yu Xiaogang."
"You think Qian Xunji dotes on you. As long as he sees your determination, even if he looks down on Yu Xiaogang, he will agree. After all, Yu Xiaogang has been with the Spirit Hall for so many years and was known as a theoretical master at the time."
"But you never expected that on the very night you said those words, Qian Xunji drugged you."
"Shut up."
Bibi Dong's voice was soft, yet it carried a chilling coldness that sent shivers down one's spine: "Nan Feng, I'm warning you, don't challenge my bottom line."
That was the deepest, most painful, and dirtiest scar of her life.
Even after she had taken her revenge, even after Qian Xunji was dead, she still felt suffocating pain whenever she thought of the despair and humiliation of that night.
However, Nanfeng in the Sea of Spirit did not stop.
"Bottom line?"
Nan Feng scoffed, "Bibi Dong, your so-called bottom line is nothing but a fig leaf you use to escape reality."
"You told me to shut up because I touched a nerve, or because—you're simply too afraid to face your own foolishness?"
"Think about it carefully."
Nan Feng's voice became serious and sharp, "You are a genius with twin martial souls, a saintess nurtured by the Spirit Hall, and have received the most elite education on the entire continent since childhood."
"You don't know what the controlling nature of those in power is? You don't know what kind of person Chihiro Chi was?"
Why does he spoil you?
"Is it because you're cute? Because you're pretty? Or because he truly treats you like a daughter?"
Wake up!
Nan Feng ruthlessly shattered her illusions, "That's because you're obedient! Because you're his most perfect creation! You've greatly satisfied his vain ego!"
"When you were still a good child, he naturally indulged you in everything and gave you whatever you wanted. Because to him, it was like raising an obedient canary."
"But what happened next?"
"You argued with him for the sake of a piece of trash who can't even break through level 30, and even threatened him with the treasonous words of leaving the Spirit Hall."
"In your view, this is a fight for love, a coquettish statement, at most just being spoiled and arrogant."
"But what does this mean to Chihiro?"
"This is betrayal!"
"This is out of control!"
"For someone as extremely arrogant and controlling as Qian Xunji, your behavior is a challenge to his authority and a test of his bottom line!"
"You've never truly understood your relationship with Qian Xunji. You mistakenly treated him as a father, believing he loved you. You haven't recognized your place; you're not his child! You don't even have the superficial blood ties of an emperor and crown prince in two great empires. You're just a subject to him, someone with no blood relation whatsoever!"
"For an emperor, his subjects can be greedy, and they can suppress dissent, but they absolutely cannot be allowed to lose control!"
"Even the slightest bit could be enough to bring about a fatal disaster!"
"What's even more ridiculous is—"
Nan Feng sighed, his tone filled with exasperation. "Even if you really wanted to leave, couldn't you just run away quietly? The world is vast, and if you're determined to escape, you'll already be a Soul Saint by then. Who can stop you?"
"But you insisted on going up to him, like a spoiled child, and loudly telling him: I'm leaving! I'm eloping with that man! If you don't agree, I'm really leaving!"
'
"What else could this be but a sign of utter stupidity?"
"Do you really think of him as your father?"
Bibi Dong trembled all over, her breathing became rapid, and her purple eyes were filled with bloodshot veins and madness.
"Stop talking—stop talking—"
"I'm going to say it anyway!"
Nan Feng's voice, like a devil's whisper, echoed in her mind, "Do you know what Qian Xunji was thinking back then?"
He thought: "Since this knife doesn't want to obey me anymore, I'll break it in half and reforge it!"
"Since you want to run away, then I'll lock you up here completely. Even if it means destroying you, I'll keep you in the Spirit Hall so you can give birth to the most talented offspring for the Spirit Hall!"
"The so-called secret room, the so-called rape, were not acts of impulse in his eyes, but rather the most severe punishment for your disobedience, and the last resort to completely bind you to the Spirit Hall's war machine!"
"He did this to keep you, and also to destroy the naive Bibi Dong in your heart."
"And he succeeded."
Nan Feng's tone carried a hint of sarcasm, "That naive Bibi Dong died in the secret chamber. The one who survived is an avenger filled with hatred and pain, yet still unable to see reality."
"You hate him, you hate the Spirit Hall, you hate this world."
"But have you ever hated that foolish version of yourself from back then?"
"If you could see that Qian Xunji's feelings for you weren't love, but merely a strong desire to control, would you still have expressed such determination?"
"Have you ever thought about what would have happened if you had been a little smarter, a little more tactful, or even had a little more understanding of human nature and power?"
Even if you only outwardly comply with him, you can secretly devise a plan.
Even if you don't use such drastic methods to threaten a highly controlling superior.
"perhaps----"
Nan Feng paused, his voice becoming somewhat melancholic: "Perhaps, none of this will happen."
"Enough—!!!"
Bibi Dong suddenly sat up from the soft couch and let out a hysterical scream.
boom-!!!
A terrifying burst of soul power erupted instantly, shattering all the exquisite furnishings in the palace!
Her purple skirt fluttered, her hair was disheveled, Bibi Dong held her head in her hands, her nails digging deep into her scalp, and tears silently slid down her cheeks.
"Why say it out loud—why say it out loud—"
she knows.
She always knew.
On countless nights when she was awakened by nightmares, and on countless moments when she wanted to end her own life, she asked herself: If she hadn't been so impulsive, if she hadn't been so naive, would everything have been different?
But she dared not admit it.
She dared not admit that half of the root cause of that tragedy was her own stupidity and ignorance.
She could only vent all her hatred on Qian Xunji, on the Spirit Hall, and even on the world.
Only in this way could she find a reason to live and an excuse for revenge.
But now, that bastard Nan Feng has ripped off this fig leaf.