Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 10

The patrolling knight pointed to the city wall: "...He's over there...helping Captain Kaeya draw safety posters..."

Paimon turned his head and saw Gu Qian using lightning to paint a giant graffiti on the city wall: a chibi version of Dvalin being chased by a chibi version of Hilichurls, with a speech bubble next to him saying "Don't come any closer!"

"Ruined……"

Paimon muttered to himself, "Once Dvalin recovers, Mondstadt will likely face the most devastating revenge in history..."

The next morning, everyone gathered at the city gate.

Looking at the four of them, now refreshed after drinking Lisa's potion, Wendy couldn't help but ask, "How...did you guys sleep last night?"

"So comfortable!"

Er Kang patted his chest.

"When to set off?"

Qingyu shook the RPG in his hand.

Zhang Chu took out a sign: "According to calculations, Tvalin's poisonous blood is currently concentrated in the third joint of his right wing."

Ying silently took two steps back; she had already seen the giant device behind Gu Qian that read "Dragon Clan Special Cupping Device".

Wendy clapped her hands happily.

"Let's go give Tvalin some 'psychological counseling'!"

A mournful dragon roar suddenly came from the direction of the Wind Dragon Ruins in the distance, startling countless birds into flight.

"This feeling! This feeling! Don't come any closer!"

"You're not doing this anymore, Barbatos!"

Chapter 11 Treatment (Uncertain) Dvalin

"Don't come over here!!"

Dvalin's dragon roar shook the entire Wind Dragon Ruins.

The six-winged dragon cowered undignifiedly at the highest point of the ruins, its claws tightly protecting its back, its tail bristling like a frightened cat.

And the culprits behind all of this—

"vomit--!"

Ying knelt by the stone wall, retching, with Paimon's eyes now resembling mosquito coils on his head.

The little guy still had "Paimon-chan" floating in his mouth, clearly not yet recovered from the high-speed flight.

"My...my leg..."

Amber's bunny ears drooped limply, and she clung to Jean's body.

The two young knights' legs trembled like dandelions in the wind, their bodies supported only by the swords stuck in the ground.

Lisa's trembling hands nearly crushed the potion bottle: "This is more... hiccup... more exciting than the Witch's Guild's flying broomsticks..."

She downed her third bottle of tranquilizer, and her mage hat was askew, sticking out to her ears.

Wendy patted Ying's back while looking helplessly at the culprit: "You guys... hiccup... weren't you a little too fast?"

Even Wendy couldn't help but let out a burp.

"And how come you're all completely unharmed?"

On the open ground of the ruins, the four-person team is salvaging their "masterpiece".

A "flying RV" that combines Hilichurl aesthetics with otherworldly black technology is emitting smoke.

The vehicle is marked "Tvalin Special Line" and features a cartoonish image of a wind dragon being chased by a purple hand.

Qingyu, Zhang Chu, and Gu Qian all turned to look at Erkang.

Er Kang felt a chill run down his spine: "I admit it's my fault! But it's not a big deal, is it?"

"You call this a minor problem?!"

The three roared in unison.

"Flying from Mondstadt to the border of Liyue in twenty seconds and then turning back, finally performing a crash stunt at the Stormterror's Lair!"

Zhang Chu's glasses were reflecting light wildly: "Breaking the sound barrier at top speed! G-force enough to flatten a slime!"

Gu Qian counted on his fingers: "We passed three Hilichurl camps, two ruins guarded by other people, and almost crashed into Starcrest Cliff..."

"If Wendy hadn't removed the wind barrier in time!"

Qingyu held up a sign that read, "Erkang is prohibited from driving," a tearful accusation.

"We're now embedded in the tornado as decoration!"

Dvalin's perspective:

He was writing a defense plan in the ruins when he suddenly heard a loud rumbling sound.

Looking up, I saw a fiery metallic monster streaking across the sky, leaving a long trail of black smoke behind it, charging straight towards me as if it were about to smash the dragon to death...

The most terrifying thing is that the smiling faces of the four people who did the "Thousand Years of Kill" to him are still printed on the surface of that metal monster!

"Why is it you guys again!"

The Dongfeng Dragon performed a vertical takeoff on the spot, almost breaking its wing flap.

The thing suddenly braked, hovering 0.01 centimeters from his nose, then fell apart with a thud, crashing to the ground and rolling out...

...A group of humans foaming at the mouth, and four lively demons.

No, how did they survive at that altitude?

"Where to escape!"

While Tvalin was still in a daze, a deafening explosion suddenly came from the ground.

The seven-meter-tall Gu Qian shot into the sky like a cannonball, rapidly magnifying in the dragon's eyes—

The leap landed squarely on the dragon's back, nearly knocking Tvalin's eyeballs out.

Gu Qian's thick arms gripped the dragon's neck tightly in a standard throat-locking posture.

Dvalin was completely stunned, its wings flapping wildly, twisting into a strange S-shaped trajectory in the air.

Amber, watching from below, gaped, exclaiming, "This! Is this the kind of jumping ability a Hilichurl should have?!"

On the ground battlefield, Zhang Chu took the RPG handed to him by Qing Yu.

The cannon barrel was clearly labeled "Dvalin's Special Use" and had a heart drawn on it.

Zhang Chu adjusted his reflective glasses and calmly calculated the trajectory: "Wind direction southwest, deviation angle 15 degrees..."

"Roar!"

Suddenly, Dvalin let out a heart-wrenching scream.

Gu Qian pulled out a giant cupping device from somewhere, with the words "Special Supply for the Dragon Clan" engraved on it in fancy script.

With a "plop," it precisely landed on the dragon scales where poisonous blood had accumulated, and the dark poisonous blood was sucked out with a "sizzle."

"The wings stiffened, and it began to fall."

Zhang Chu calmly reported.

"Optimal attack window in 3 seconds."

Qingyu held up a sign that read, "Thousand-Year Kill Special Attack Missiles are Loaded."

On the distant cliff, Kong's golden eyes narrowed slightly.

"That's... a Hilichurl?"

The abyss mage beside him wiped away cold sweat: "Your Highness, according to intelligence, those four are extraterrestrials, but..."

Before the words were even finished, a cannonball trailing a purple flame streaked across the sky and struck Tvalin precisely—(five hundred words omitted here).

Kong unconsciously squeezed his legs together, his face turning green: "Plan terminated."

"But Your Highness, this will..."

"I said, stop."

Kong's voice trembled almost imperceptibly.

"With those four... things around, the success rate of the plan is already negative."

As he turned around, he glanced one last time in the direction of his sister.

Ying was kneeling on the ground, retching, while Paimon above her was rolling his eyes like a windmill.

Kong silently noted in his heart: The entire Abyss Order must be equipped with hip armor.

Dvalin collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down his face.

"Barbatos..."

He raised his trembling dragon claws and gripped Wendy's cloak tightly.

"I'm begging you, don't do anything productive this time! Call those four 'living fathers' away! Otherwise I'll—"

“Ouch——!!!”

A mournful dragon's roar echoed through the Wind Dragon Ruins.

Wendy looked up and saw Ying squatting on the spot where Dvalin's blood was poisoned, trying her best to heal with her purifying power, but the effect was pitiful.

Seeing this, Qingyu silently took out a syringe thicker than a person and handed it to Ying: "Use this."

fluorescent:"……?"

Dvalin: "???!!!"

Without saying a word, Gu Qian used a dragon-specific grappling technique to pin Dvalin down, bending his dragon wings into a bow shape.

"No! Stop! You are abusing Long Quan!"

Tvalin struggled frantically, but his resistance was futile in the face of Gu Qian's absolute power.

Ying took a deep breath, raised the giant syringe, and aimed it at the location of the poisonous blood—